Paging Dr. Evil

We aren’t likely to collide with another Chixculub-size asteroid any time soon, but even a smaller impact could be devastating. This is one argument for developing space travel. If we detected a meteor on a collision path with Earth, we could send a spaceship to nudge it out of the way. But there is always the Dark Side of the Force to reckon with …

Suppose you are a space entrepreneur, dedicated to harnessing the resources of the asteroids. You plan to mine them for their platinum group metals, valuable here on Earth, and for water and other volatiles, valuable for fuel and provisions in orbit. This is an expensive proposition, and it’s not clear that you’ll make a profit. But there is another business model. If you can direct asteroids away from Earth, and/or into Earth orbit, you can also direct them to collide with Earth. You can see where this is going: once an asteroid has been “accidentally” (on purpose) set on a collision course, you can charge a lot of money — a round trillion, say — to deflect it. In other words, “Nice planet you’ve got here. Too bad if anything was to happen to it.” Protection rackets are common enough in human history, and probably the cause of more suffering than all geological cataclysms – earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, etc – put together. Who’s to say they won’t be part of our future too?

In case any lawyers are reading this, I should make 100% clear that I don’t seriously think any of today’s space entrepreneurs are planning anything like this, or could get away with it even if they wanted to. But it does suggest the gloomy thought that space faring and space colonization – touted by no less than Steven Hawking as an insurance plan against extinction – might actually reduce our species’ life expectancy rather than increasing it, at least until we get from interplanetary to interstellar settlement.

dr.evil

“It’s Dr. Evil, I didn’t spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called ‘mister,’ thank you very much.”

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